I mentioned earlier Jordan Sparks' "One Step at a Time," but I think it really relates to what I am going through right now also. My sister's recovery has been very slow, much slower than we anticipated but as the song says, you take life as it comes and find out the reasons later. Hopefully, one day we will know something that has come out of her illness; for now, it is bringing us closer together as a family. Another thing I am having to go slowly about is finding a job. My mom has told me when the right job comes along I will know it and until then should not stress about it, and she is right.
Another song on her debut album that I enjoy is "God Loves Ugly." Now, it it does not take a genius to figure out what the song is about, but the reason I enjoy it is because she mentioned how someone has told her that she is worthless, not special, nor pretty and she believed them and lived her life according to that idea. But, God showed her that He loves her and He think she is beautiful and it's made all the difference. In my own life, a few years ago I was sick and dealing with excruciating pain, but some high school boys took it upon themselves to make fun of me. I tried to let it roll off my back and not think much about it but it did make an impression because it was a point in my life when I was very uncertain about my health and my future, and them nicknaming me "Cripple" did not help. It has taken me a long time to realize the impact their ridicule had because I did my best to ignore their comments, but it did make me uncertain about how other people would treat me when I told them I was in chronic pain. Thankfully, not everyone has acted like those boys in high school and the reason I am writing about this is because I think it's important for people to realize, whether they have gone through something like me or not, they should not take their gratification from the world. You do not need a guy to tell you that you are beautiful, you need to know it for yourself. Now, it is nice to receive compliments but when we receive criticisms we need to know which ones to pay attention to and which ones to trash and never think about again.
There are two of Nicole C. Mullen's songs that I absolutely love it every time I hear them I get goosebumps. One of them is "When I Call on Jesus" and it talks about the power of God and that He answers prayer. I mean, the Bible says you need faith as small as a mustard seed, which is about the size of the tip of a pencil, and you can move mountains and that is what this song talks about - anything is possible when you call on Him for help. Another one of my favorite is "My Redeemer Lives" which is a wonderful reminder that our Savior is alive. No matter what I am going through these songs are always inspirational to me and watching my sister be sick and in pain has been very difficult, but I know whose hands she's in and I do not have to worry about her. The entire Christian faith is based around Jesus rising from the dead and on the final day of the world if it was all false then there was no reason for anything, simply a waste of time, but if it is true, it will make all the difference. So, I am sure somebody wonders how I can am sure, and I have to say that it is because of what has happened in my own life. I cannot divulge here what I have gone through, but I can tell you that if I did not have faith in Christ, life would simply not be worth living. There will always be skeptics but I know the changes that have occurred in my life because of my relationship with Christ, and I know that he has gotten me through incredibly difficult and painful situations that I most certainly would not have wanted to go through if I did have Him to lean on. I have to wonder how people survive and live meaningful lives without a relationship with Christ, without some hope for life after death. Is that all random and is it a one time shot? Or is there something more to life and is there a bigger purpose?
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2 comments:
I can comment on the whole validation thing. It's something I still struggle with to this day.
When I was in high school, I found out I had scoliosis. This was a disorder that had vastly ruined my posture, and you can bet that I was made fun of more than a few times for it. My gait had a very visible lean; people who didn't laugh would always come up to me ask, "Why are you walking like that?" or "Why are you leaning to the side like that?" Of course, even if I told them the answer, it didn't stop the other kids in the back from laughing.
If that wasn't bad enough, I had a hard enough time being the "smart, quiet kid." That label's already like a Bully Magnet, but naturally Murphy's Law had to factor in and make my high school career worse.
I appreciate how you found solace through music. I still do that now; a large part of my life is music. I owe the bounce in my step now to what I've declared the "soundtrack of my life," which is constantly being modified, of course. As for the religious aspect, I will respectfully decline to comment, but I will say that living a meaningful life that differs from yours is not as difficult or uncommon as you think.
It is nice to know that I am not alone. I also was in the accelerated programs and was teased for that, so I understand. I am glad that you are finding life little bit easier now and you do have a soundtrack for your life, it is a great way to think about it. It keeps you positive and helps you to remember that there is more to life than teasing or even physical problems.
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