"This Joy That I Have"

I love being the 3 yr. old choir director at my church. The kids are so much fun and they love singing. Since last night was Wednesday we met for the second time this year and I had 7 children, which is a good number for our group. It is just me and one other teacher so 7 kids is plenty. I love watching their faces light up when we sing their favorite songs, like Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round, Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, and Eency, Weency Spider. In order to prepare I was reviewing an old song book that I have had since I was kid and I was surprised at how many songs I knew, and how many I had not even thought of, let alone sung, in years.

Casting Crowns has a new song "Slow Fade" that reminds me not only of the kids I teach but also of when I use to be in choir. At the end of the song they have a little girl sing a few lines that sound like part of a song I use to sing, although I cannot recall the name of it:
"Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see."
I am reminded from this song how much responsibility I have in working with these kids because they will remember and mimic everything I say and do. Not that I would act inappropriately, but I am reminded of the privilege I have in working with these children and that I need to set an example. The song also speaks to the adults because it talks about how choices are made, prices must be paid, and some people will crumble under the strain.

Another Casting Crowns song that I enjoy is "Who Am I," which talks about how can a mere person deserve the grace of God. My favorite lines are, " Not because of who I am, But because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, But because of who you are." This is a great band; they have so many good songs that I enjoy listening to and they all have important meaning that speaks to the listeners.

For my CD review for class I did Mandisa's True Beauty which I highly recommend! Each of the songs is unique and it is hard to choose which to write about. Her hit single "Only the World" is uplifting, as it encourages us to remember we are only living here for a short time and there is no reason to let the problems of this world tear us down. "Never Gonna Steal My Joy" is one of my other favorites; it has a similar theme and it just fills my heart because I know that nothing can take the joy God has given me. It reminds me of the song I learned as a kid, "This joy that I have the world didn't give to me. The world didn't give it and the world can't take it away." I also love inserting "peace" and "love" in there because it is true, the love, joy, and peace that I have deep inside came from God, and no matter how bad the circumstances, like a death in the family, I can still have them. That reminds me, I finally started singing around the house and in my car again. It has taken a week but I am finally starting to feel like singing again. My inner joy cannot be quieted for long and that is one way I express it, through music.


I found this blog post entitled "Is there such a thing as Christian music?" I was intrigued by the title and impressed by the man's comments. I have to agree that Christian music is only defined as such by the words and that there is nothing wrong with listening to secular music. I know a majority of the songs I am referencing are Christian tunes but since I listen to Christian radio stations all the time, and my secular music on my ipod, so I am listen to the Christian music more and it is going to have more impact. Here is the link to his blog, check it out:
http://dustinahkuoi.wordpress.com/2008/09/04/is-there-such-a-thing-as-christian-music/

Life's Sadness

Sometimes we have the opportunity to expect and prepare for a death in the family and other times we have eight hours. Within a week and a half she had two strokes, and at first we thought she was going to be fine, but then all of a sudden she was back in the hospital with a blood clot at the base of her brain. It has been really hard on everyone. Thankfully she did not suffer and we know that she is in Heaven. When I received the call from my mother, and burst into tears, a song immediately started playing in my head. It just kept repeating itself, and has reappeared several times through the week. The song is Avalon's "Another Time, Another Place" which talks about waiting to go to Heaven and getting to see Jesus face to face. When I was listening to this in my car on my way to school, I realized that that was where she was soon going to be; the tears flowed even more freely then, but I had an overwhelming peace come that has not left.



Mark Schultz sings "I Am," a beautiful song that describes God in His many attributes. When I was listening to the radio and heard this song, I was comforted. It is hard when you do not have a chance to prepare or say good-bye, but God is incredible and everything the song describes about Him is true. It is good to know we have such a big God who is in control. Like I told my dad, her work here was done so it was time for her to go home.



"You Raise Me Up," Selah's version with an extra verse, has a double significance for me. One way I read it is as God's hands guiding me, but also, I am reminded of that wonderful woman who was always encouraging and supporting me through my entire life. Although she was not my grandmother, it sure was like having three of them; and I have always felt so blessed.



At church yesterday, there were several songs that really spoke to me:

"Reign in Me" reminds me that I want God to be a part of every aspect of my life. One line is about reigning in my dreams and in my storms, and I realized that that is something I want to focus on right now. She was a wonderful Christian woman and amazing role model and she allowed the Lord to reign in her; I want to do the same with my life.



"Press On" was the choir special and it was uplifting. Just walking into the church was difficult because I was reminded that I would never see her smiling face there again. I'm under a lot of stress right now but the song was encouraging.



The soloist sang "Through Every Storm" which was perfect for my situation. God is with us through everything. I have several friends who are struggling right now heartbreaking circumstances but the music seemed to be planned just for us.



"Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield is one I have been hearing on the Christian radio stations more and more recently. I understand though that it means we are free to chase our dreams and that our past does not dictate our future. When I was listening to it, I thought about how should would want all of us to keep going; she always told my sister and I that we were great kids and that we could accomplish anything we set our minds to and I know that she would tell me that now. The world is before me and I know she would say to follow my dreams and remember that she is always proud of me and that she loves me. I did not get to tell her good-bye as in going to the hospital to visit her but I did see her the week before at church, she was smiling as always and the conversation will remain with me forever; it is all I needed. I think she lived her life that way, throwing open the window, releasing her worries and living life to the fullest; that is her legacy and I want to continue that legacy in my own life. This entry may seem a little nostalgic but I wrote in my journal and then blogging my thoughts and memories through the perspective of music has helped me achieve more peace and recall more memories. It has been worth that chliche because I have remembered her as the incredible Christian woman she was and seeing the woman I want to become.